Category: Flow

Overcoming Imposter Syndrome

70% of us feel like impostors at one time or another according to Wikipedia. Most of what I have researched on the interwebs regarding this topic deals with the symptoms and not the cause, for most of our lives we only have time to use band-aids like affirmations and reminders as impending deadlines continuously call upon us to find a quick fix. However, I want to go deeper and address what I believe to be the cause and in so doing add more depth to what I believe causes Imposter Syndrome (IS).

You’re an imposter and that’s OK, you’re an imposter because you don’t know who you truly are, you have managed to cope your way to this moment, you have been wounded countless times and you survived by abandoning yourself. That’s why it feels empty and numb when you achieve the things that society says are meant to give you a sense of self-worth. What if we all took responsibility for our emotions and our self-worth, what if we could be more than our performance?

I have lived with lots of trauma, in the beginning I was not even conscious to it, its impact and effects on my behaviour and more importantly how I treated myself were all based on not being enough. My sob story includes everything from growing up with a lost and violent father to a controlling and anxious mother, everything from being bullied at school to being abused by my grandfather. Somehow though I thought I was OK, in retrospect it seemed I had numbed out and buried the pain deep, in order to cope and function in some manner, I had no time nor the tools to really know who I was without my inherited patterns, programming and trauma.

My favourite band-aid was staying busy and distracted. Getting married young was a way to get out of that environment and be distracted by a new love and a new life. Before I knew it, I was distracted with bringing up my children, building my career and sought some happiness by making sure everyone else was happy first and in most cases to get some approval, what I considered to be love.

I was caretaking at the cost of abandoning myself. Why? Because I was told I was bad, I was beaten to oblivion for being wrong, I was ridiculed and embarrassed for having a voice, I was a newly married husband with children and obligations and parents who were broken  yet had to uphold an image that everything was all right and to have some semblance of control over my life, but this caused co-dependency and a false dynamic.

20 years later all the unconscious trauma finally blew up in my face but in between there were glimpses of who I could be without all this. I had achieved a lot regardless, outward success in my career and new business pursuits were there, I was loved by many and had built a loving family, yet I was still unhappy, lost and empty.

My view on IS is that if you are addicted to seeking approval in some way to feel enough, you will never fully achieve sustained joy and happiness and most importantly peace. My IS was anchored in an inner emptiness, one that either tried to control people to get my attention needs met or abandoned and surrendered myself time and time again to others that I thought were better than me.

I was addicted to seeking approval and thought my performance was the answer, so I tried harder - in order to feel something I acted out with drama or numbed out. Without inquiry into what’s true for me internally, I sought happiness and joy externally, from my results and your approval of them so when I finally became the CEO of an amazing startup that completed a successful exit within 4 years I thought I was done I should be happy now, I’m rich and have achieved the impossible.

After 3 months of checking in, I still felt no joy and no happiness in fact I felt even more empty and lost as I sought to understand how could this be, I had achieved the things society claim would bring me happiness and self-worth but this was not what I felt. I felt like an Imposter, I did not feel like a success and I still operated from fear.

In 2014, I was suicidal, after being so-called successful yet empty it all became too much for me, I had gone deeper in my practices to get underneath all the trauma but things got worse. Later that year I had a prolific shift thanks to my previous co-founder and spiritual brother, Frank Cuiuli that can only be described as the most magical thing that has ever happened to me. I surrendered to the pain, to the fear to the monster with Frank’s guidance. Within minutes I was a new person, I had given in to whatever I had been keeping down and with an immense purge became vulnerable and open to surrender. This collapse needed to happen it seemed before I could truly start my inner work. Although I had a life coach for almost 10 years prior, I needed to give into the things I feared the most before any enlightenment could take up the space.

With this newfound space and an urge to discover a new and better operating system I went on many discoveries, from retreats to global travels that included time with thought leaders in this space, it was there that I discovered a better way and with a deep commitment to disrupting my old patterns I now have a better way of being and in so doing overcome my Imposter Syndrome. I can honestly say that I am not longer an Imposter I am instead the fully realised Me.

This is how I operate now:

  • Take full responsibility for my emotions - if you have emotional needs meet them yourself first before expecting others to meet them, this is the toughest step.
  • Self Inquiry into what’s true about my beliefs and thoughts - Ask yourself “Who would I be without these limiting thoughts and beliefs?”
  • Daily journaling for gratitude - Reward yourself for the lessons you are learning, the things you are gifted with and the achievements already gained.
  • Fitness and Health - Commit to loving your body with nourishing food and movement – dance a little. What you feed yourself impacts your energy and clarity.
  • Nourishing relationships - Discover how to improve your relationships by asking “Can we be open to learning how our relationship can improve?” Hang with friends who keep you honest and call you out on your faults in a nourishing way.
  • Purposely pursuing Flow - Ask yourself “What gets me in flow or the zone?” and pursue it in your career and life.
  • Learning to say a healthy No - A healthy No to others is a Yes to yourself, once you take responsibility for how you feel you let go of the need to please others and are better able to say “I understand, Thank you and No”
  • Exposure to new ideas and people - read various different articles, attend new group meetings, take more risks in meeting new people, you never know what you might find.

Tending to our wounds makes us available to them, to not limit ourselves and to be available to others in a healthy giving way, not an unhealthy taking way. Its been an amazing journey and I would not change anything, this was the path for me, I am not fully healed but my commitment to the above process is helping me overcome my Imposter Syndrome from within.

To learn more keep an eye out for our future blog posts, I will dig deeper into the various toolkits I use. For more reading on this topic I recommend “I need your love, is that true?” by my favourite sage Byron Katie.

The ‘HOW’ to creating new Waves in 2013 – A book review

Well it took me 6 months to finish it but you don’t want to be reading this book in one sitting anyway. As the last 6 months have been full of many landmark business and life events it’s been a beneficial to absorb many of the lessons from the lens offered in this book. With 2013 looming the chance to start new Waves at both home and work present themselves so finishing this book now is timely.

Dov Seidman promises a lot and I have to say I found myself saying “This has to be the best book ever written on the future of business” many times. Having just sold Velteo to a US based consultancy called Bluewolf, its been an interesting journey in aligning our How’s. Velteo has always been a values aligned business with a significance pursuit for customer and staff engagement. So this book struck many chords for me.

‘HOW’ covers many dimensions on how business should be done now and the reasons why. This review is not extensive but will highlight what I think to be of great appeal.

Why the need for a shift?

Hyper-transparency and Hyper-connectivity, thanks to the digital and social age that we find ourselves in, no one can hide so the integrity of how we do things is even more important and hence so is our reputation. We cannot manage our reputation any more we now need to earn it with How we perform our Whats.

You find yourself asking questions like “Do I run a business that’s about winning at all costs or about out-behaving our competition?” and “Are we about chasing success or significance?” and “Do I really need hierarchy in my business or should I flatten it?”

Competing on your What’s alone is no longer enough its now about How which is a product of human behavior. Dov does a great job of uncovering what needs to shift and how we got here. From Command and Control environments that contain disengaged staff, lack of trust, and management who wield power over people to cultures who master Connection and Collaboration through engaged staff who act as leaders, where trust is in abundance and where power is wielded through people with inspiration. The essence being strong connections and alignment to enable a culture of self governance – the panacea of any organization.

Dov makes a great case for the power of Trust and the organic effect it has on people and groups to take risks and innovate, which affects both qualitative and quantitative outcomes. Super human performance can only be generated through inspiration, inspiration comes when we act on our beliefs, its intrinsic and is propelled by values. An organization with aligned values will always outperform rivals by the very fact that less management overhead is required, staff behave like owners and the collective wisdom of the organization is focused on the vision, hopefully a significant one. What is a significant vision, one that is bigger than one’s self interest i.e. just profit.

Dov opens and closes the book with a challenge to create Waves in our realms. He recounts Krazy George Henderson who in 1981 started what we know today as the Wave at a New York Yankees game, where people join in on one massive human wave around the stadium. It’s a great example of what Dov wants us to achieve. It took Krazy George a few attempts to first get the crowd immediately in front of him to trust him then understand what he had envisioned, then enlist them to take part. Once he got the wave to beyond half way around the stadium and people booed the crowd who let it die, the crowd was self governing and the Wave was born. Dov claims if a stadium full of people who have no connection with each other and very little shared vision can achieve such a feat then we can too.

He claims we can do this by taking TRIP’s, not the kind you’re thinking but projects where Trust is proactively granted, Risk is allowed and owned and Innovation is enabled to achieve Progress. By giving away power in a relationship or project we empower others, trust accelerates progress in business and in life and hence is the basis of this new lens.

Finally, the Paradox of Success is covered in great detail and is important in that you cannot pursue success directly, its what you get when you pursue significance. If leaders, managers and staff of all ranks pursued not what they Can do but what they Should do in pursuit of Significance there would be no need for rules, policies and governing authorities. A values aligned culture will generate a self governed organization that achieves more than it may aim to and even achieve the bottom line: Sustainable Happiness.

So as the year comes to an end what new Wave will you start in 2013?

BTW: Engaged cultures are inventive, check out this quick video of Dov.

Happy New Year.

My review of Prezi – Awesome in so many ways

Been very keen to play with Prezi since I discovered it a month ago. Its a cool tool for creating more contextual, fluid and relational presentations in the cloud and locally on your computer. My buddy, Franky, started playing with it and demonstrated its power to me recently as well so I though I would use my Social Golf Club Presentation Night last night to play with the tool myself.

Here’s a cool conceptual video that illustrates the power and the difference of Prezi:

I discovered that the tool is great for ideas creation and brainstorming, its free flow and intuitive user interface allows you to focus on your ideas and get creative. I can easily turn my sketch of ideas into  a presentation because its all happening in the same place. I found myself thinking differently about how I would present the information and how I should make the presentation flow. This enabled me to create the presentation quickly and have fun at the same time, even my 13 year old daughter was impressed and you know how hard it is to get that kind of a response out a of a digital native. With the use of their zoom and flip functionality it made the presentation more appealing , you can find my Prezi presentation  here .

My Prezi presentation

My Prezi presentation

I also discovered that it would come in handy for taking notes in class and meetings. That would be richer, and could easily be presented when needed. This makes for better learning and time use as this Stanford video demonstrates:

The cost? They use a freemium model so the free version allows you to use the web and the desktop app (free 30 day trial) too but when loading in the cloud you post your presentation in the showcase for all to see. So beware of giving away all your secrets. Otherwise, for $59 per year you get more storage and privacy. So what are you waiting for, give Prezi a go and you may even surprise yourself with your creativity let alone your audience.

My rating 10/10 for so many different uses and reasons.

Can’t wait to work on my next Prezi for more than just a prezi.

Startups using social networking to go giddy up

Social media sites across the Web don’t seem to be scarce, in fact they continue to evolve and increase in number and functionality. The real question is however “What’s their use?” Many have answered the question, “It depends who you are and what you want”. So in this age of time scarcity how can an Startup Entrepreneur best use his/her time to take advantage of social networking for business and promotion? For entrepreneurs who are on-the-fly, I can recommend four “must join” social networking sites/resources:

1. LinkedIn.
This is definitely one of the most valuable professional networking sites around. Their current slogan is “relationship matters”, and this site certainly has what it takes to really last, being one of the original social media enterprises. Whether you’re searching for a new job, trying to stay connected with peers or making an effort to establish your company, there is an array of resources which are readily available. If you’ve got the time, it’s certainly best to interact on a daily basis, and to check out the group feature of LinkedIn as well. You must list your keywords accurately and clearly establish your brand so that you’re exposed to – and aware of, the best match of potential partners, business opportunities and service providers.
If you can invest the time, and you’re able to really interact, you’ll be able to establish yourself as an expert in your field by leveraging the power of LinkedIn Answers. The more you interact with others, the more your marketing message may be perceived as desirable and trusted, in qualitative terms. The controls in place ensure that experts are just that and that show pony’s get thrown out of discussion quick smart.

2. Biznik.
Some entrepreneurs believe that a network that charges for membership will usually be made up of individuals who are quite a bit more serious, and much more likely to be active members too. Biznik is surprisingly serious about its position, and it has gone so far as to brand itself as the network that “actually cares about the entrepreneur.”
There are three levels of membership available here; two of which are paid, up to $24 a month for the “pro” level. Their approach is – go it alone, but as a part of their team, and their rules are that you have to use real data in a system which uses a human review system to continually make sure that everybody is keeping it real. This site can be a shoulder to cry on, or a source of inspiration, but once again its benefits will come from an active involvement on your part.

3. StartupNation.
This option is rather different. It is a site created by entrepreneurs for entrepreneurs, but it is chock full of content and advice. Apart from a great podcast, you’ll find innumerable articles on almost every business idea that you could envisage as well as active forums. In some respects it is also like a giant “super blog” where you can pick up so much information in one place without the feeling that you are being drawn to so many different sites during your research. The instigators of the site, Rich and Jeff Sloan, are nationally acclaimed entrepreneurs, publishers, celebrities and award winners, and the composition of this site reflects this in its details.

4. TWiST – This Week in Startups
Run by Jason Calacanis, this weekly Podcast is full of great tips, reviews, insight and humor. Jason does a great job oh hosting the podcasts and interviewing the entrepreneurs. His following online via the #TWiST tag has grown in popularity and they do a great job of keeping the sessions interactive by fielding questions from Twitter followers and seeking reviews on the show in real time. I love listening to TWiST during a long drive or flight, Jason never ceases to crack me up with his sometimes brutal candor.

So there, any time poor person can reap best value out of intelligent and targeted use of time while embarking on a social networking campaign to build business relationships, brand awareness and credibility in your field. The alternative route for achieving the same result would cost much more time and money, long live social networking for business.

Is the global economic slowdown a perfect storm for new age business and technology?

Businesses large and small are reviewing everything right now, including the effectiveness of traditional marketing, data storage, communications and computing. Business stakeholders and shareholders alike are expecting businesses to adopt smarter ways of doing business, the days of getting away with “That’s just the way we do things around here” are over. Yield optimisation is on everyone’s lips, measurability, efficiency and productivity has now become the drivers behind social marketing, cloud computing and enterprise 2.0 initiatives. Why? Because they are more effective, cheaper and reap better long term results for both the business and its customers.

Social media tools have changed the way customers socialise what they like or dislike, its changed the way I do search for the latest version of a widget I am interested in and how I get endorsement for that widget. Business can do its own research on what the market thinks about its brand or latest product without asking a third party, business can engage with its market without going through traditional middle men, speeding up response times and enabling insight which in turn impacts innovation and relevant product releases. Its safe to say that the Growndswell is here to stay as more and more big brands adopt social marketing into their mix and as many software vendors begin to integrate social media into their products, like Social CRM.

Data centres in their current form may not exist for much longer. Data is moving to the cloud. The kind of computing that the Google, Amazon, Facebook, and others have become synonymous with will come to the common data centre realm soon. Today, IT managers add capacity, fault tolerance, fail over, load balancing, and other data centre features painstakingly much for storage scalability and performance in an incessant manner. Just when they begin to feel that they have enough capacity and performance built in to their systems, that they have made their data centre future proof, there is a new need on the performance or expandability front. Combine this with the Global Financial Crisis and the subsequent global economic downturn and you have a compelling reason to change.

Cloud computing will make it much less painful to manage, scale and develop a reliable, high performance platform without running a single data centre. Cloud computing is often compared to electrical utility where one pays for what he uses and when he uses. Gartner predicts that by “2012, 80 percent of Fortune 1000 enterprises will be paying for some cloud computing services, and 30 percent will be paying for cloud computing infrastructure services.” is a perfect example for the future of cloud computing. They have now come to offer computing power over the web to would be customers. “Since early 2006, Amazon Web Services (AWS) has provided companies of all sizes with an infrastructure web services platform in the cloud. With AWS you can requisition computing power, storage, and other services–gaining access to a suite of elastic IT infrastructure services as your business demands them.” is also another great example of Cloud Computing success, providing CRM, Customer Service and Marketing automation functionality in the cloud yet still managing to offer customizability to suit all business needs. This segment is so robust that its been managing to buck the current economic downturn, SFDC recently posted a 20% increase in quarterly revenues, not bad considering that its traditional on premise competitors such as Oracle and SAP are reviewing forecasts downwards. Other examples of cloud computing that’s already out there include Google Docs, the MS Office competitor and Slide Rocket (for great online presentations).

Cloud computing offers significant cost savings for IT functions that are large-scale as well as small scale. Other advantages include management and scalability. Contrary to some pundits views, Cloud Computing is more than a buzz word and although much more has to happen for it to get into main stream business, the business merits for it are clear. So, the future where we stop worrying about our server being up, may not be far away. It is already here, we just have to figure out what we are going to do with it.

Enterprise 2.0 is expected to be the next big thing for agile, productive and effective corporations wanting to attract the best of the next generation. To aid product development velocity, customer experience management and IP management something has to give, traditional methods of communication, data and knowledge sharing methods and tools are ineffective now. To get to the next level of competitiveness corporations must change with the times and the tools that now afford them. The use of Corporate Blogs, Wikis, podcasts and microblogging when used with a new age methodology that incorporates transperancy, accountability and responsibility will lead to peak performance across teams and the entire organisation as staff intuitively work together and experience the rewards as well.

So I think the answer is YES! The economic slowdown will force the right decisions to be made, because it makes good business sense and because its too painfull to do nothing anymore.

See how Fender used Social Media to spread the word.

Enterprise 2.0 + Social Marketing = Groundswell! The revolution takes hold

I have noticed more and more lately that Corporates are starting to pay attention to this revolution. Research shows that Enterprise 2.0 practices and Social Marketing initiatives are taking hold, that those organisations who embark on a trial, of what Im calling Corporate Social Networking, early will achieve competitive advantage from both their internal operations but also the way they engage with their market. The internal business-engine benefits include:

  • Increased employee productivity
  • Efficeincies in knowledge management
  • Democratization of Business Intelligence for improved collaboration
  • Meet regulatory requirements in a timely fashion
  • Repurpose content efficiently
  • Connect people with information and expertise
  • Accelerate business processes and reduce complexity
  • Attrach the right skillset and culture

What this means however is that the traditional hierarchical management systems in organisations need to change, there needs to be an acceptance of transperancy and openness in the organisation that the best idea my come from the lowest paid employee. This challenge is a whole other discussion about human behavior however it does highlight that its not technology that is limiting better business but thinking and behaviors.

The external benefits of early adopters of social marketing type practices are already reaping the benefits as this graph illustrates.

Impact of Best in Class Social Media PracticesNo wonder I have been hearing so much lately. I guess the economic slowdown helps too. You see this form of marketing is not only the cheapest, when done well, its also the most effective. Engaging with your customer in a dialogue and listening to their ideas and suggestions has tremendous benefit for your own business and next gen product offerings, dont forget everyone wants to feel loved, especially customers.

So in a slow down like this, corporations will shave uneccessary and under performing expenditures and aim to review their plans for marketing and advertising. A recent survey from MYOB and ABS have indicated that SMB’s are increasing their efforts in marketing, but not the kind of marketing we are used to seeing, marketing that includes more and more social media tools which help impact the sales cycle effectively,as this graph illustrates:

Social Media impact on the Sales Funnel

The Groundswell is here to stay it seems and for those naysayers who thought social networking was not relevant for business or that it was just a flash in the pan, Im sorry but you were wrong. People power is here to stay now that they have a real Digital Voice.

This quick interview also supports my point that Enterprise 2.0 is here to stay:

Time Abusers

They are people who:

1. Do things that other people want them to do and this diminishes their uniqueness. This gets them out of their strength zone and their comfort zone. Karl Sanberg “Time is the most valuable coin in your life, You and you alone will determine how that coin will be spent, be careful that you do not let other people spend it for you”. Question “If I get offered this job, what do I have to do, that no one else can do, except me?” So do I have to do it or do I have to make sure that it gets done.

“The people with nothing to do usually want to spend their time with you”

“The question is not is your calendar full, it’s who will fill your calendar” If you do, you can lead, if they do at best you are reactive.

2.  Do things that are not important and this keeps them from being effective. Thorough “It is not enough to be busy, the question is, what are we busy about”. To ensure you are effectively busy do the following: Rate the activity in order of importance and urgency.

3. Do things that can be done better by others, this makes them average. Nothing is changed by mediocre performance. Jack Welsh “If you don’t have a competitive advantage, don’t compete”. Questions about your competition:

a. Is somebody else doing what I am doing?

b. Are they doing it well?

c. Are they doing it better than me?

d. If I become better or don’t, what is the result?

4. Do things without good coaching or training and this reduces their potential. Zig Ziglar “The only thing worse than training employees and losing them, is not training them and keeping them”.

Studies have shown that a 10% increase in spending on training staff leads to an 8.5% increase in productivity versus a 10% increase in capital expenditure which only leads to an increase in productivity of 3.5%. Jake Conger adds “It’s what the person has to do not what he or she is exposed to that generates crucial learning”

5. Do things without thinking, this causes wasted time and energy. James Allen “You are today where your thoughts have brought you, you will be tomorrow where your thoughts take you”. How to think better and more often:

a. Find a place to think your thoughts, a thought chair or room.

b. Find a place to shape your thoughts, a notebook

c. Find a place to stretch your thoughts, think tank

d. Find a place to fly your thoughts, expose them to others. Some thoughts need more time to get up, give them room to take off.

e. Find a place to land your thoughts

6. Do things with the wrong motives and this increases conflict with yourself and others. One of the most time consuming things to have is an enemy.

If you are preparing you are focusing on today, but if you are repairing you have focused on yesterday. If you are preparing it increases efficiency, whereas if you are repairing it consumes time. If you are preparing it increase confidence, whereas if your repairing it creates discouragement. If you are preparing it save money, but if your repairing it increases cost. If you are preparing it pays now for tomorrow, but if you are repairing it pays now for yesterday. If you are preparing it takes you to a higher level but if your repairing its becomes an obstacle for growth.

“People who abuse time will not run out of excuses but they will run out of time”

Basic facts about time management:

1. We all waste time

2. We cannot change time

3. We must accept time as the most important source for mankind

4. We cannot increase the quantity of time

5. We cannot do everything

6. We can only control time

7. Accept the facts that we are all procrastinators

Leonardo Davinci “A day well spent brings happy sleep”

Time Masters

Some insights about good time users:

  • Time is more valuable than money because it is irreplaceable. You can replace money, you can’t replace time.
  • Peter Drukker “Nothing else distinguishes effective executives as much as their tender loving care of time”
  • You cannot kill time without injuring eternity
  • Time is an equal opportunity employer
  • Lack of time is not the problem it’s the lack of direction.

Good time users:

1. Are People who do things that advance their overall purpose in life and this helps them grow. “One was not born in the world to do everything but to do something”. There are 2 great days in our life, the day you were born and the day you discovered WHY. Finding our purpose is empowering. In finding our purpose, answer the following 2 questions:

1. What have you achieved? Or what are you competent in?

2. What do you care deeply about? That’s your passion.

For example my purpose in life is very simple, it’s to Add Value.

Harold Kushner, a Rabi once said “I believe that it’s not dying that we are afraid of, something else, something more unsettling and tragic unsettles us, we’re afraid of never having lived, of coming to the end of our days with a sense that we were never really alive, that we never figured out what life was for, our souls are hungry for meaning, for the sense that we have figured out how to live so that our lives matter, so that the world will be at least a little bit different for our having passed through it”.

We cannot have peak performance without a peak purpose. Peak performance and peak purpose go hand in hand, if we are going to be all that we can it has to be because we are doing that which we are passionate about.

2. Do things that underscore their values which brings them fulfillment. Vision is the organisation’s head, mission is the organisations heart, values are the organisations soul. If money has good values attached to it then it is the root of opportunity, not evil.

3. Do things that maximize their strengths this makes them effective. They spend their time in their strength zone. “Almost every man/woman wastes time and attempts to display qualities that he does not possess”. Staying with your strengths makes you productive and effective. Decide to stay in your strength zone and stick with it. I only have 4, mine are leading, creating, communicating, networking and that’s all I do!

“Discover your uniqueness and discipline yourself to develop it” that’s so key to success.

4. Do things that increases their happiness, this gives them health. Happiness is now a hot research topic for many social psychologists today, research shows: health, realistic goals, optimism, strong relationships, faith that results in purpose and hope, fulfilling friendships, high self esteem, outgoing nature, balance between rewarding work and productive leisure all lead to more happiness.

“Success is getting what you want, happiness is liking what you get”

“Happiness is an inside job” Other people can’t make you happy, some people have destination disease, they think if I could just live there, be there or do that, I will be happy.

“The happiest people don’t necessarily have the best of everything they just make the best of everything”

“We have no right to consume happiness without producing it than to consume wealth without producing it” George Bernard Shaw

5. Do things that equip others in your team, this compounds their productivity. When hiring valuable team members apply the 5 A’s: Assessment, Assets on hand, Ability, Attitude, Accomplishments. The best predictor that someone will do something good tomorrow is that they have done something good yesterday. Qualities of an inner circle member: Influence, character, positive attitude, excellent people skills, proven track record, evident gifts or abilities, team player, loyalty, compliments your gifts. You don’t want team members to compete with, you want members that complete you.

6. Do things that add value to others, this increases their influence. “ A man with time to burn never gave the world any light”. Questions that help assess how you can add value:

1. What do I have?

2. What do people need? Is there a match?

3. Can I give what they need?

4. Will I give them what they need?

5. How often will I give them what they need?

Examples of what I have: Encouragement (the oxygen of the soul), Confidence, Humor, Security, Recognition (say something positive within 30sec of meeting them), Respect (high value of people) I deposit these things daily in people’s lives. Every morning decide “Who am I going to add value to today and how am I going to do it?” At the end of the day ask “Did I add value?”

So decide what to do or what not to do and spend your time there.  Part 2 will cover time abusers.

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